Philosophy

My maternal grandfather was a Baptist preacher in Arkansas, so I started out this life as a Baptist. I don't think I was ever Baptized, though. One Sunday when I was 8 or so years old, my siblings and I were sent home by our church the morning our parents didn't accompany us to Sunday School, and that was when I realized that there is a lot of Human Involvement when it comes to religion. I stopped being a Baptist then, and spent many years being Agnostic. Belief in God never wavered, although maybe I didn't always call it "God"- even now, I use the name to represent the Energy force that I think we all share as living beings. I'm not so sure about a supreme being... maybe a First being that we are all part of. I believe that we choose to reincarnate if there is something in life we deem worth learning. Not quite in line with my Baptist upbringing, but there you go.

I became an SGI Buddhist in 2004. I guess until I receive the gohonzan, I can only be called a believer. Despite what some may say about it, Nichiren Buddhism really speaks to me. I got the most amazing feeling when I learned to chant that I had done it before, like I already knew Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo. It was a clear feeling of recognition. It's not often that I feel that way about something (incidentally, I felt the same way the night I met Troy, like we already knew each other), and so I knew that I needed to at least practice a bit and see where it took me. I chanted twice a day for a long time. The kitties were really great about it, too. They'd sit with me, but not say anything or rub against me. It's like they knew that it was appropriate to just sit with me.

Nowadays, I meditate, without chanting, nearly every morning. Meditation helps me to connect to "God" and helps me to focus on my soul's purpose. By wishing for love, light, peace and happiness, for myself, and for all living beings, I can begin the day with a positive outlook. It's a nice, sunny way to begin each day.

At the time I'm writing this, I'm gearing myself up to getting back to chanting. My altar is in the bedroom, and I'm afraid of waking my husband. If I move the altar downstairs I don't have to worry about waking him (there's a small room off one of the bedrooms that would be perfect, that is, until we turn it into a nursery), but I think I'd be self-conscious about my voice carrying.